Most people don’t start networking until they need a job. By then it’s already too late.
One of the biggest mistakes I see in networking is that people only network when they need something from their network. They don’t network ahead of time so it’s there when they need it. This is like (for those in the northern hemisphere) looking at the calendar and saying, “Oh, it’s June 1st, I need to drop fifteen pounds to fit into a swimsuit this summer.” By the time you’ve dropped the weight, summer will be nearly done. Instead, you needed to have thought to yourself back in February, “It’s time to lose some weight so when summer comes, I’ll be ready to wear that swimsuit.”
I meet so many people who network when job hunting, but only then. It’s fine to call on long standing relationships at that time but people often try to expand their networks right as they need to ask something of them.
Imagine that you’re in a bar and start talking to the guy next to you. You strike up a conversation and think, “Maybe we could be friends.” As you leave, he says, “Hey, some friends of mine are going to a musical festival next week, hit me up on social media if you want to join.” That sounds like a reasonable next step in a budding friendship. Now imagine if he said instead, “Hey, tomorrow I’m picking up a secondhand couch. I’ve got a van, but can you join me from 2-4pm to go out and help me pick it up and move it into my third-floor walk-up apartment?” How likely are you to do that for someone you just met?
In the first case, he’s giving something to his new relationship. It might be low value—there’s no money or time cost, he’s just risking social capital if his long-standing friends find you annoying-–but it’s something. In the second case, he’s asking you for something. It might just be a few hours of your time, but there’s some cost to you. On the other hand, if a close friend you’ve known for many years asks for your help picking up a couch, you’d be quite likely to do it.
There are two aspects to this. In the first case, it’s giving not taking. One person offered something to the other. (Dorie Clark has a rule that when she meets someone new, she won't ask anything of that person for one year.) In the second case, one person is asking something of the other.
The same thing is true when job hunting. Asking someone you just met to pass along your resume is asking them to take a risk on you. It’s a small risk, so they might do it, “Hey, I met this woman last night and she’s interested in the job you’re hiring for.” Even so, they’re less likely to say, “Hey, I met this woman last night who is interested in your job, and she is so amazing you absolutely must bring her in for an interview immediately.” As with the couch, you’re more likely to do the latter for a longtime friend or professional associate where you're willing to risk more social capital (you could even argue it’s less of a risk because you’ve gotten to know the person well enough to minimize the risk).
Harvey Mackay wrote a book titled with the age-old advice, Dig Your Well Before You're Thirsty. We’re all going to be thirsty at some point in the future; it’s best to start digging today.
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