Interviews have gotten less formal over the years, but finding the right level of formality is still important to make a good impression. This applies to behavior as well as dress.
We’re told to keep interviews professional, but then sometimes the interview feels more casual, or it even feels less like an interview and more of a conversation. Sometimes a hiring manager and interviewer just click (in a personal or professional, but non-romantic way), should you still try to be formal then? Where’s the line and how do you spot it?
Sadly, there’s no easy answer. For those trying to find the line, to borrow from Justice Stewart, “I know it when I see it.” That’s probably not helpful, so let’s see if we can find some additional guidance.
Start with the company, or even industry, culture. Tech startups are known for being casual (some of my engineers showed up to work in flip flops, and executives often wore t-shirts). Big law is considerably more formal. We’re not just talking about the dress code, but also in manner and style. Law firms have a fiduciary responsibility to their clients and the company needs to project that responsibility. Even so, a small two-partner firm in a rural area probably won’t be as formal as a white shoe Manhattan law firm. You can get a sense of the culture and style from the company’s media. Look at the company’s website and corporate social media posts. Do you see people in suits with professionally staged photographs, or are people playing foosball? What’s the language on their website, formal or casual? In the bios are people talking about their pets? It’s not perfect but it will start to provide a gross indication.
Next comes research about the interviewer herself. Look at her social media. I don’t mean stalk someone on Instagram, since who they are at work may be different. Certainly, look at her LinkedIn posts, which are fair game. If she is talking about work related topics on Instagram or other social media, then do assess those, too. Even so, people often tend to be a little more casual online than in the office.
The most valuable information comes when you sit down for the interview. Honestly, it’s a little like dating, where you need to read people. A friend of mine is a matchmaker in New York City and once asked single females on social media if they prefer to be greeted with a hug, kiss on the cheek, or no physical contact (some even asked about a handshake). The general consensus was. . . it depends. Many women talked about how it feels in the moment, or how much prior communication there was.
The same is true for an interview. The good news is you have more than an instant to decide. (Oh, and for an interview, definitely go with a handshake over a hug or kiss on the cheek, unless it’s your ex-husband, then anything goes, disingenuous kiss, look of contempt, slap across the face . . ..) As the interview unfolds you need to look at the style and energy of the interviewer. If he is keeping it formal, do the same. If he is going question by question wanting your answer and moving on, follow his process. If the style feels more relaxed and conversational, then by all means make it a conversation or match his energy (as this Alpha Tau alumni from Alabama did with Smithers.)
To this latter point, a conversation means don’t just wait for questions. Just like one you’d have with your friends, it’s one where you can co-lead where it goes. Still, play second chair and let the interviewer drive it, but don’t feel that you can’t help steer. You can even interject questions during it, as opposed to waiting for the end.
The rule with dress code is to always dress just above the other party. If they’re in a t-shirt and you show up in a suit, you’ll look like a mismatch. Instead wear a polo. If they’re in polos, wear a button down. Next up is a blazer, etc. It’s absolutely better to be overdressed than underdressed though (I'd rather be in a suit in a room full of people in t-shirts than the other way around if I need to make a good impression). The same is true for formality. It’s better to be slightly more formal, than slightly less formal, during the interview.
The same philosophy applies to your attitude; it’s better to be slightly more formal. Saying, “yes, sir” to questions asked by the long-haired, t-shirt wearing interviewer at a startup may feel a bit too much. If he’s saying, “yeah, dude” you can be slightly more formal with just a “yes.” On the other hand, at an interview with a former military officer working at a defense contractor who has everything on his desk organized at ninety-degree angles, saying, “yes, sir” even if he doesn’t probably won’t feel too formal for him.
This takes practice. Fortunately, you can practice outside of interviews. At work you’re likely to interact with any new people, be they co-workers, customers, partners, vendors, or others. In each case you can apply the above and try to determine their level of formality and try to adjust your communication style appropriately. The good news is, in most of these cases if you don’t quite get it right, it probably won’t be as bad as if you miss it during an interview, so take the opportunity to practice. As always, after trying it, when the meeting is over take a few moments to reflect. What assessment did you make and how? How did you try to hit the right level of formality? If you get your co-workers involved it allows for more insights and feedback post meeting. As with most things, it may seem hard at first, but with practice it gets easier.
It’s critical to learn about corporate culture before you accept a job offer but it can be awkward to raise such questions. Learn what to ask and how to ask it to avoid landing yourself in a bad situation.
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