While you should work to expand your network, remember that relationships take time to build; rushing the new relationship opens the door to problems.
Most people struggle with under-networking. They don’t put forth enough effort to create enough connections, diversity, or quality relationships in their network. Some people, however, are on the opposite end of the spectrum. They are overeager networkers.
Often it stems from people being a little too Pollyanna. They sincerely want to help this new person in their network, but their approach backfires because of the haste.
One mistake stems from not knowing the new connection well enough to be helpful to them. Consider a cardinal piece of networking advice, to give before you get; try to help others first. Introductions, as I mention in The Career Toolkit: Essential Skills for Success That No One Taught You, are a great way to do that. When you’re doing an introduction, you help two people in your network at once, and you get credit for both. But that only applies when it’s a good connection to make.
For example, you may know this new person runs an accounting firm but if he specializes in manufacturing companies and you keep sending him potential clients who have software businesses or are in financial services, it’s not going to be a fit. Moreover, you’re wasting the time of both parties. Even worse, you're putting the accountant in an awkward position where he needs to say, “I can’t really help you.” All of this harms your relationship with each of those parties; they start to doubt your judgment. Practically speaking, you would have been better off not doing the introduction at all.
Another mistake is being overly trusting. You may be really excited about your new connection and want to help this person out. Maybe you really just seemed to click with this person. Still, you don’t know the person. Consider, how many times have you, or someone you know, had a great first date only to discover red flags further into the relationship? During the first meeting, many people know to put their best foot forward.
I know people who, upon meeting someone new they like, give way too much access. In some cases, these overeager networkers introduce the new connection to their networks. If the new person turns out to be problematic (e.g., untrustworthy, flakey, rude) people in your network can have a bad experience and that’s reflected back on you.
In other cases, the enthusiastic networkers assume more trust in their new connections than they should. I’ve seen people jump into business relationships with these new connections before getting to know them. Again, you don’t move in together with someone you just started dating; instead, you take time in getting to know the person, letting commitment increase over time. Similarly, before jumping into a big business relationship, start with smaller commitments, and make sure the assumed trust is proven out over time.
While most people under-network, overeager networking can be just as harmful. Reputations take time to build but can be quickly destroyed. Cast a wide net to meet people, but after that first connection remember that the relationship will take time to build. Rushing that building process can invite risk.
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Groups with a high barrier to entry and high trust are often the most valuable groups to join.
